Life is a Practice

I keep coming back to this phrase over and over again. Life.Is.A.Practice. We don’t figure it all out by a certain age and then just coast through the rest of life. We are constantly evolving, learning, growing, changing and then doing it all again.

Last time I wrote a blog post was 2018! I thought I had it all figured out. I turned 50, I moved in with my love, I was teaching Pilates at a steady pace, I had figured this life thing out. HA! Not so fast…2020 showed up and I realized I had nothing figured out! Ok, maybe not quite that dramatic but it did make me reevaluate things. Work shifted online, grocery shopping shifted online, most of life shifted online. For those of us who are introverts, it wasn’t too hard to not “have” to be out in public or constantly socialize. I welcomed the down time. However, after awhile, I had to learn to go back into the world, at least on a limited basis. Going back to teach in the studio was a little scary at first, not the teaching part but worrying about contracting covid. I constantly had to balance that fear with making a living and moving forward. I truly enjoy working with clients so the fear didn’t last past the first day back.

At the beginning of last year, I had planned on reigniting my Coaching practice but when everything shut down, it didn’t feel like the right time. Fast forward to the beginning of this year and I literally had a coaching client fall into my lap. In working with her, I realized I’m really good at coaching and its time to push forward. I’m ready to take on more clients and am excited to work with new people!

I’m also getting ready to launch a Sibling Grief Support Group. I will be sharing more about that in a separate blog post.

In looking back at all of the meaningful career changes in my life, they seem to happen every 10 years. Here we are 10 years after making the leap into Pilates, and I’m making another shift. However, this time, I am bringing all of my experiences together. I’ll continue teaching Pilates, but will also focus on Coaching and Sibling Grief Support. Life has definitely been, and will continue to be a Practice.

In a Funk

A couple of weeks ago, I woke up and was in a funk.  Have you ever had that happen?  If you’ve never been in a funk, good for you!  When I say a funk, I mean this general malaise, feeling down but not knowing why.  I don’t want to confuse it with depression, that’s another subject.  Basically, I woke up and could not find a smile, could not find motivation, could not find the joy that day. 

When this happens, I try to find the reasons why.  What is causing this funk?  Why can’t I pull myself out of it?  Why do I wear my emotions on my sleep?  Why can’t I just fake it until I make it? 

I examine what is going on in my life, in my friend’s lives, in the world at large.  Did I get enough sleep?  Did I have a bad dream?  What is the root cause?

The last funk had so many causes.  It started with a bad dream where I discovered my boyfriend had a fiancé.  Poor guy…I woke up pretty upset with him.  Luckily it was just a dream but it didn’t improve my mood.  All day, I was examining what could be the deeper cause. 

Perhaps it was because several friends are dealing with death and grief.  A mother gone too soon, a sister gone after a tragic life, a father teetering in between here and there, another family member taken so suddenly, family members dealing with a cancer diagnosis.  Perhaps it’s the general state of our world. 

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there has been a lot of crazy stuff going on and it made perfect sense that the funk descended.  Now, what to do about it?  Sometimes I feel like I need to ‘fight through’ the muck and put on a happy face but does that really work…maybe, for a short period of time.  What tends to work for me, is to sit with it, be in it, work through it, take a nap, read a book, watch mindless tv…basically, don’t fight it.  I have found the more I fight it, the longer the funk lasts. 

The big lesson, I seem to have to learn over and over again, is that life will knock you off your feet and sometimes you need to lay there for a little while before getting back up.  Get back up when you’re ready, and if you need someone to help you off the floor, give me a call. 

What do you do when you get in one of these funks?  I'd love to hear what works for you!

Gratitude

I am not sure that I can adequately express the Gratitude that I have for all of you who have offered your support and stories for the book on sibling grief.

The emails in which you share just a little glimpse into your loss, and in some cases losses, have brought me to tears and have reaffirmed why I need to do this.

I knew this was something I HAD to do but then to have you tell me I'm the right person to do it, well I am honored, and humbled, that you would share your stories with me.  This is just the beginning of the process and there is still much work to be done, but I just had to express my Gratitude for your willingness to share with me.

I have responded to all requests to help, so if you have not heard back from me, please let me know as my email may have gone to junk mail.

Sibling Grief – I need your help

In May, 1989, my brother John died.  He was 18, I was just shy of 22.  It was difficult navigating the world of grief.  I tried to find information on how you are 'supposed' to grieve, but there weren't many resources out there for siblings.  I went to Compassionate Friends meetings, but they were really focused on parents.

So for many years now, I have wanted to write a book dealing with sibling grief.  There are not a lot of resources out there for siblings.  Plenty for parents, but not us.

I would like to get other people who have also dealt with sibling grief to help with this project.  If you know anyone who has lost a sibling, before the age of 30, I would like to talk to them about their experiences...if they are up for it.  Please have them contact me directly at melissa52767@yahoo.com.  No I do not have any kind of book deal nor have I even pursued that yet.  I just feel this is something I have to do and the rest will fall into place.